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So farewell then, Ruth Kelly.



Or is it au revoir?

I've had an on-off relationship with the dreaded Ruth. First, I despised her. Of course, I still do. But there's something else. All the best love affairs thrive on conflict, don't they?
Is it the weirdo religion? No. There's something perfectly logical for a socialist to be a bit of a fan of self mortification, after all. Is it the fact that she once went out with - however briefly - that ghastly little pillock David Miliband? Hardly. I know a lot of people have time for the giggly Foreign Secretary, and maybe when he was younger he was a bit of a charmer. But we all did sllly things when we were young and I'm glad to see she's put that youthful indiscretion behind her and got on with the process of rebuilding her life.

A lot of people seem to think this is it. She's got four little munchkins who need a mother's love ( maybe ). She's nursing a very tiny seat ( search me, gov. I can't see from here ). She's been bought off by the powers-that-be ( heaven forbid ).

I don't know. Alternatively, perhaps she's taken a gander across the pond, and seen how the delightful Ms Palin has gone down.


Maybe the mother of four could be the UK's answer to the gun-toting mother of five. She isn't going to keep her constituency from the backbenches. But as the incumbent Prime Minister, who knows? If she could just disappear for six months, remodel her hair, maybe have a boob job, perhaps Ms Kelly could reinvent herself as a new feminine feminist.

Maybe then, in the face of the rising tide of liberalism, compassion, socialism, David Cameron, and everything else, Britain might at long last have a Labour female Prime Minister. We've been waiting a long time, but at this dire moment in our nation's history, maybe Britain needs a return to traditional Catholic moral values.

Maybe Britain needs Ruth Kelly.