Tuesday, May 18
Well if he can do it, I can do it. Only it's unpaid work. Though it may end up being paid, who knows. See you in June.
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Monday, May 17
Malta, like the rest of this Great Continent of Ours, is gearing up for the European Elections. Labour Candidate, Joseph Muscat reports:
"One of the most interesting meetings I had took place last week when I visited the only four electors living in Comino. It was a pleasure meeting Maria, Vangiela, Salvu and Anglu, the last of the Kemmunisti. I learnt about their problems and the reality they live in everyday life. Most of the difficulties these people face are related to communication. Nevertheless, they do feel an integral part of our country. Salvu has even upgraded to internet recently".
Now that's dedication, sailing through the treacherous shark-infested waters in the hope of securing four votes. Still, the lucky people have got the internet. Sounds pretty idyllic, really.
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"One of the most interesting meetings I had took place last week when I visited the only four electors living in Comino. It was a pleasure meeting Maria, Vangiela, Salvu and Anglu, the last of the Kemmunisti. I learnt about their problems and the reality they live in everyday life. Most of the difficulties these people face are related to communication. Nevertheless, they do feel an integral part of our country. Salvu has even upgraded to internet recently".
Now that's dedication, sailing through the treacherous shark-infested waters in the hope of securing four votes. Still, the lucky people have got the internet. Sounds pretty idyllic, really.
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Sunday, May 16
Self-effacing rock star Gene Simmons tells the Observer the secret of his success:
"I am the most powerful man in the world because I have complete freedom - and that's power. The most powerful guy in the world decides his fate without having to answer to anyone. That's power, baby".
Sounds good so far.
"The secret of happiness is to be completely selfish".
Sounds like a liberal.
"If I ruled the world it would be a much better place. First of all I'd have death squads and take out every dictator. I would find every drug dealer and shoot him in the head publicly, no trial or jury. I'd leave his carcass there for dogs. Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord. Well, I'll take some myself if you don't mind".
Sounds like this guy. His new album's got a nice title too. And it's a solo album as well, with a song co-written with the Normster's hero himself, Bob Dylan. Wild. Still, I think maybe he is on the side of the angels after all.
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"I am the most powerful man in the world because I have complete freedom - and that's power. The most powerful guy in the world decides his fate without having to answer to anyone. That's power, baby".
Sounds good so far.
"The secret of happiness is to be completely selfish".
Sounds like a liberal.
"If I ruled the world it would be a much better place. First of all I'd have death squads and take out every dictator. I would find every drug dealer and shoot him in the head publicly, no trial or jury. I'd leave his carcass there for dogs. Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord. Well, I'll take some myself if you don't mind".
Sounds like this guy. His new album's got a nice title too. And it's a solo album as well, with a song co-written with the Normster's hero himself, Bob Dylan. Wild. Still, I think maybe he is on the side of the angels after all.
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Saturday, May 15
"There is some irony that the only people to have lost their jobs over the unhappy events in Iraq have been journalists".
Claims the Guardian. Not strictly true. Don't forget this chappie, tragically deprived of his livelihood. To think that if he were still working, both Piers Morgan and Andrew Gilligan might still be scribbling away like mad things. Heart-breaking, isn't it?
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Claims the Guardian. Not strictly true. Don't forget this chappie, tragically deprived of his livelihood. To think that if he were still working, both Piers Morgan and Andrew Gilligan might still be scribbling away like mad things. Heart-breaking, isn't it?
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Friday, May 14
With Tony Blair on the ropes, Polly Toynbee contemplates his successor, Gordon Brown:
"Don't imagine he is any less of an Americanophile than Blair. Where does he holiday? Cape Cod, never across the channel. Who are his gurus? Americans. He never has a good word to say for our social democratic neighbours, except to use them as comparisons with his own brilliant economy".
She thinks these are negatives. On the other hand:
"It is he, the great redistributor, who is the keeper of the child poverty pledge, holding out against cabinet predators to give tax credits to poor families first, nurturing Sure Start and child care. It is he who put the money into schools and he who delivered the National Insurance rise to fund the NHS as never before. He even made that tax rise popular with 70% of voters. Equality of opportunity and social mobility are the causes driving all he does. The only point of a thriving economy for a Labour government is to deliver social justice. Now it is time to embed those ideas in British hearts and minds".
Not content with taking our money, they want to brainwash us.
"Remember, it took Sweden decades of steady progress to make a more equal society, but it needs people to buy into the idea permanently".
These guys are here for the duration, folks. Meanwhile, the benevolent intentions of the government are here for all the world to see. Some people aren't bringing their kids up the prescribed way, some people aren't allowed to look after their very own children, and some parents aren't allowed a say in whether their children have children. The Guardian knows who to blame in the latter incident, anyway:
"It is a tragedy that Michelle now regrets the abortion. But the real breach of confidence was surely by the mother who consented to splashing her daughter's private life all over the newspapers".
It isn't just your money the liberaloids want, you know.
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"Don't imagine he is any less of an Americanophile than Blair. Where does he holiday? Cape Cod, never across the channel. Who are his gurus? Americans. He never has a good word to say for our social democratic neighbours, except to use them as comparisons with his own brilliant economy".
She thinks these are negatives. On the other hand:
"It is he, the great redistributor, who is the keeper of the child poverty pledge, holding out against cabinet predators to give tax credits to poor families first, nurturing Sure Start and child care. It is he who put the money into schools and he who delivered the National Insurance rise to fund the NHS as never before. He even made that tax rise popular with 70% of voters. Equality of opportunity and social mobility are the causes driving all he does. The only point of a thriving economy for a Labour government is to deliver social justice. Now it is time to embed those ideas in British hearts and minds".
Not content with taking our money, they want to brainwash us.
"Remember, it took Sweden decades of steady progress to make a more equal society, but it needs people to buy into the idea permanently".
These guys are here for the duration, folks. Meanwhile, the benevolent intentions of the government are here for all the world to see. Some people aren't bringing their kids up the prescribed way, some people aren't allowed to look after their very own children, and some parents aren't allowed a say in whether their children have children. The Guardian knows who to blame in the latter incident, anyway:
"It is a tragedy that Michelle now regrets the abortion. But the real breach of confidence was surely by the mother who consented to splashing her daughter's private life all over the newspapers".
It isn't just your money the liberaloids want, you know.
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Thursday, May 13
I wonder how many more lives would be saved if only the government decided to abolish state education. But of course, being the government, it has decided to increase the load. Expect the Thames to be awash with corpses, folks.
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Wednesday, May 12
I'm not sure I'd have made exactly this connection. I mean, it does look like it's been a while since they did the stroll, but even so...
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Tuesday, May 11
This new-fangled blogger, eh? Ain't it marvellous?
UPDATE: Okay, I know when I'm beaten. It's either a choice of not seeing comments and taking an age to load, or installing the new blogger comments. I feel a bit like Sophie.
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UPDATE: Okay, I know when I'm beaten. It's either a choice of not seeing comments and taking an age to load, or installing the new blogger comments. I feel a bit like Sophie.
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Bonjour. Je m'appelle Georges. J'habite dans la lune. Je suis demi-homme, et demi-chauve-souris. Tu es tres jolie. Voulez-vous couchez avec moi?
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The Indy's token religious freak Paul Vallely asks the key question:
"What if she is not a depraved sadist but an insecure character desperate for approval?"
This could of course, be asked about any number of viviparous humanoids. But who, in this instant, is he talking about?
1. This delightful creature.
2. This gorgeous bird.
3. A woman doing a dangerous job in difficult circumstances.
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"What if she is not a depraved sadist but an insecure character desperate for approval?"
This could of course, be asked about any number of viviparous humanoids. But who, in this instant, is he talking about?
1. This delightful creature.
2. This gorgeous bird.
3. A woman doing a dangerous job in difficult circumstances.
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Monday, May 10
This certainly seems an improvement on being buggered by the rugby teacher. However, I'm not sure I'd really want to watch lots of videos of the Minister of Education Charles Clarke on his knees servicing the Prime Minister's mammoth phallus. Or with his tongue up Cherie's love tunnel. However, I am no longer a kiddie, so perhaps Britain's youth is more relaxed about these matters. Just so long as they stay out of the sun, eh? Now that's much more worrying.
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Friday, May 7
Less than a week after joining the European Union it seems that civil war is about to break out in dear old Malta, land of my forefathers. And only one man can bring the two sides together, according to the Times of Malta:
"Mr Iwueke also said he intends to put an end to all kinds of discrimination, racism, xenophobia and stereotyping and wanted to get smokers and non-smokers to live happily together".
They'll be calling in the UN any minute, I fear. It's been on the cards for years, though. You've got the Central Cigarette Company in Zejtun, the smugglers in Luqa, the health freaks of Gozo, versus the Rizzla dudes of mainland Malta, with small pockets of pipe-smoking seadogs living in Marsaxlokk. It was all bound to end in tears.
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"Mr Iwueke also said he intends to put an end to all kinds of discrimination, racism, xenophobia and stereotyping and wanted to get smokers and non-smokers to live happily together".
They'll be calling in the UN any minute, I fear. It's been on the cards for years, though. You've got the Central Cigarette Company in Zejtun, the smugglers in Luqa, the health freaks of Gozo, versus the Rizzla dudes of mainland Malta, with small pockets of pipe-smoking seadogs living in Marsaxlokk. It was all bound to end in tears.
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Polly:
"Just when things could not get any worse in Iraq, they do".
Well actually if you think about it, they could get worse. Use your imagination, girl. There could be more people dying, the allies could be losing. The UN could be running things. Uh-oh.
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"Just when things could not get any worse in Iraq, they do".
Well actually if you think about it, they could get worse. Use your imagination, girl. There could be more people dying, the allies could be losing. The UN could be running things. Uh-oh.
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At long last the truth. Robert Fisk admits he's racist. Or does he? I suspect when he says 'our' he means 'their'. Who knows. Who cares?
UPDATE: save yourself a quid. The whole thing is here.
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UPDATE: save yourself a quid. The whole thing is here.
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Philip Henscher gets all hot under the collar, describing the crushing of Michael Moore as "A monstrous attempt to silence a troublemaker". There is a man who does not read Tim Blair. Nor even the Times. Nor even this guy. Someone ought to introduce the guy to Google. It isn't that complicated.
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Thursday, May 6
Government Minister in Blame the Individual Shocker:
"Individuals also have to take responsibility for their diets or those of the people in the their charge."
Not that it's any of her bleeding business in the first place, but from little acorns who knows what we can build.
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"Individuals also have to take responsibility for their diets or those of the people in the their charge."
Not that it's any of her bleeding business in the first place, but from little acorns who knows what we can build.
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All right. Which language is this, then? Aside from being the language of lurve? If it's one of them Nordic countries, I may have to reassess my feelings about a certain lady.
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"By the way, who the heck is Worcester Woman?"
asks Tim the commenter. It's a good question, and as it happens, one of their number has come out of the closet today. It's Mrs. Andrew Marr:
"We grown-up women are time jugglers and consumers. We are practised flippers-through of the health pages, connoisseurs of vitamin supplements and daily victims and enemies of bureaucratic bullshit. We know how long it takes to get a doctor's appointment and we know that choice in secondary education remains a pipedream for many. A government that talks to us mostly about inputs, percentage investment growth and organisational change, as this one does, simply won't be heard".
Yes. This is all very well. But the old girl is still going to vote Labour whatever happens. And as for being an enemy of 'bureaucratic bullshit': come off it, love!
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asks Tim the commenter. It's a good question, and as it happens, one of their number has come out of the closet today. It's Mrs. Andrew Marr:
"We grown-up women are time jugglers and consumers. We are practised flippers-through of the health pages, connoisseurs of vitamin supplements and daily victims and enemies of bureaucratic bullshit. We know how long it takes to get a doctor's appointment and we know that choice in secondary education remains a pipedream for many. A government that talks to us mostly about inputs, percentage investment growth and organisational change, as this one does, simply won't be heard".
Yes. This is all very well. But the old girl is still going to vote Labour whatever happens. And as for being an enemy of 'bureaucratic bullshit': come off it, love!
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Wednesday, May 5
So the battle for Britain's votes in the forthcoming electionfest is on, and Polly, with startling predictability, has decided that on the whole she'd rather Tony did well in it than got trounced by the evil Tories. Even so, she still has her reservations about the Master, and fears the worst:
"What if virtually no one votes Labour?"
Well, yes, that would be a problem.
"The party may rationalise a crushing defeat, trusting that Labour voters will keep the Tories out in a general election. But the shock might have an impetus of its own, sending waves of panic among the many backbenchers facing expulsion, even if Labour were to win a workable majority. A mighty collapse of its vote breaks the magic of Labour's invincibility, and a Liberal Democrat surge may take on a trajectory of its own. In an electoral era that has broken the old rule books, there is no knowing what a near-zero Labour vote might do".
I reckon they'd be pretty narked.
"If he survived a humiliation, would he spend the next year making sure he recaptured the Labour vote? That is far from certain, however much his colleagues would urge it. That inflexible part of him forged in the defeat of 1992 does not risk alienating Worcester woman, Mondeo man or any of those polling phantasms he thinks put him into power. "Choice" is his mantra, a politically empty idea essentially at odds with social justice".
Politically empty? Not strictly true. There is, after all, one choice Polly still believes in.
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"What if virtually no one votes Labour?"
Well, yes, that would be a problem.
"The party may rationalise a crushing defeat, trusting that Labour voters will keep the Tories out in a general election. But the shock might have an impetus of its own, sending waves of panic among the many backbenchers facing expulsion, even if Labour were to win a workable majority. A mighty collapse of its vote breaks the magic of Labour's invincibility, and a Liberal Democrat surge may take on a trajectory of its own. In an electoral era that has broken the old rule books, there is no knowing what a near-zero Labour vote might do".
I reckon they'd be pretty narked.
"If he survived a humiliation, would he spend the next year making sure he recaptured the Labour vote? That is far from certain, however much his colleagues would urge it. That inflexible part of him forged in the defeat of 1992 does not risk alienating Worcester woman, Mondeo man or any of those polling phantasms he thinks put him into power. "Choice" is his mantra, a politically empty idea essentially at odds with social justice".
Politically empty? Not strictly true. There is, after all, one choice Polly still believes in.
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Ahdaf Soueif, in the Guardian:
"I've seen a photo of a young American soldier with two Iraqi boys. There is no nakedness or torture, but it is no less nasty for that. The boys are holding a cardboard sign. They and the soldier are smiling and doing a thumbs up. He is pointing at the cardboard sign, on which he's written: "Lcpl Boudreaux killed my Dad. then he knocked up my sister!" Imagine the scene: Lance Corporal Boudreaux, a soldier on a liberating, civilising mission, asks the natives to pose for a "memento". He gives them the sign to hold. What lie did he tell them about its message? "Iraq is liberated", or "Mission accomplished"? And who, in this scene, is the more civilised?"
Yeah. Me too. I've seen that photo. Strangely, though, it had a different message.
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"I've seen a photo of a young American soldier with two Iraqi boys. There is no nakedness or torture, but it is no less nasty for that. The boys are holding a cardboard sign. They and the soldier are smiling and doing a thumbs up. He is pointing at the cardboard sign, on which he's written: "Lcpl Boudreaux killed my Dad. then he knocked up my sister!" Imagine the scene: Lance Corporal Boudreaux, a soldier on a liberating, civilising mission, asks the natives to pose for a "memento". He gives them the sign to hold. What lie did he tell them about its message? "Iraq is liberated", or "Mission accomplished"? And who, in this scene, is the more civilised?"
Yeah. Me too. I've seen that photo. Strangely, though, it had a different message.
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Tuesday, May 4
"Millions of people have become aware that this is a war of conquest, which violates international law and disregards the authority of the UN and its rules. Today, the Iraqi people are struggling for their independence and legitimate rights. In that kind of war the whole arsenal of a superpower is out of the question. Such a power may conquer a nation but cannot govern it".
Fidel Castro, telling it like it is.
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Fidel Castro, telling it like it is.
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Michael Evans writes a letter to the Indy concluding that:
"war should not even be a last resort. It should be abolished".
I wonder if he's old enough to vote.
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"war should not even be a last resort. It should be abolished".
I wonder if he's old enough to vote.
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Democracy comes in for a bit of a kicking today from our liberal betters.
"A tiny minority of Israelis must not be allowed to dictate the destiny of Israel and Palestine"
thunders the Indy. Martin Kettle over at the Guardian also has it in for those miserable people otherwise known as swing voters:
"Why should the whole future of our country - and, more grandly, of civil society - be in the hands of such selfish, inconsistent, prejudiced, ignorant and pampered people?"
I know. Perhaps we need an injection of new blood. The Indy seems to think so. 16-year-olds must vote. They're not selfish, inconsistent, prejudiced, ignorant and pampered, are they?
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"A tiny minority of Israelis must not be allowed to dictate the destiny of Israel and Palestine"
thunders the Indy. Martin Kettle over at the Guardian also has it in for those miserable people otherwise known as swing voters:
"Why should the whole future of our country - and, more grandly, of civil society - be in the hands of such selfish, inconsistent, prejudiced, ignorant and pampered people?"
I know. Perhaps we need an injection of new blood. The Indy seems to think so. 16-year-olds must vote. They're not selfish, inconsistent, prejudiced, ignorant and pampered, are they?
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A certain Guardian columnist writes the following sentence:
"Just as the importance of pre-school learning is becoming properly understood, the Tories would end Sure Start, cut back on child care, scrap our programme for children's centres and cut the budgets for under-five provision".
Guess who? ( Clue: It isn't this one ).
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"Just as the importance of pre-school learning is becoming properly understood, the Tories would end Sure Start, cut back on child care, scrap our programme for children's centres and cut the budgets for under-five provision".
Guess who? ( Clue: It isn't this one ).
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Sunday, May 2
I suppose there are some cynics out there who think the filth would be better off arresting burglars, murderers and other degenerates. But handing out choccies to the proles as an oblique way of clamping on alcoholism has a touch of the genius about it. It isn't exactly Dixon of Dock Green, and you certainly wouldn't have caught the Sweeney doing this, but times have changed. We've all moved on. This is the Twenty First Century after all. I'm not quite sure how it squares with the War on Fat which the Guardian announced yesterday, nor perhaps is it a good example for our impressionable young folk, but if one life can be saved, who am I to protest?
UPDATE: It gets better and better. Chances are the boy in blue handing out the Smarties is going to black. It's all part of the War on Terror, apparently. I'm starting to have my doubts about this. What next? State-run shoeshine boys?
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UPDATE: It gets better and better. Chances are the boy in blue handing out the Smarties is going to black. It's all part of the War on Terror, apparently. I'm starting to have my doubts about this. What next? State-run shoeshine boys?
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